


If Only

by EmmaleeRose



Category: Vampire Chronicles - Anne Rice
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 09:52:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3245291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmaleeRose/pseuds/EmmaleeRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Lestat cannot resist temptation and visits Nicolas in his apartment long before they are reunited at the theatre.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Only

"Where have you been Lestat?" Nicolas inquired angrily. "I've searched for you at every theater, every brothel, every pub, I even mailed your mother to see if you had gone home! All of this time you have been in Paris, haven't you? You abandoned me when you knew that I had no one!"

Nicki's screams hurt my sensitive ears, every crack in his voice as harsh as nails on a chalkboard. But I stood there and endured the minor pain because I had to explain myself somehow; I hadn't any other option.

"Nicki, please forgive me. I wanted to see you, believe me, but I could not bring myself to try and find you. I have missed you so very much, Mon Cher, but I must leave. I cannot stay here with you anymore, I only wanted to see you," I said softly to him.

Anger was emanating from his body. And, Mon Dieu! How beautiful he looked standing there in all his rage!

The light of the warm fire cast shadows upon his face, accentuating his high cheek bones and his swollen eyes. Those bloodshot eyes gleamed wondrously, his voluptuous lips pouting in absolute perfection. I stared at him awe-struck for a moment.

"Lestat, I was alone. All I heard from you was a letter. You sent money and a new violin that I didn't want! You, my muse, you were gone. I wanted my companion back. I wanted my friend, not riches. No amount could replace you in my heart," Nicki said.

"What happened to you? Your face, Lestat…"

Nicolas was no longer shouting and his voice was broken. Tears started to stream down his porcelain face. The light cast fantastic reflections through the tear drop on his cheek. A new emotion started rolling off of him in waves, something calm and fierce that I could not describe. He crossed the room towards me and touched my face. I stood completely still and let myself soak in the warmth of his hand on my cool flesh.

"I want to tell you, Nicki, truly. I wish I could share this with you, but it is not my gift to give. Something has changed me; it is a gift and a curse. I cannot tell you anything about this. Even if I attempted it, you would not understand," I said solemnly as I held his hand to my face.

"Lestat, your skin! It's so...," he stopped short and looked desperately at me for an explanation. "You have changed so drastically, yet it is still you. How can this be?”

“It is not so simple to explain… there was a man…” I started.

“You found another? Is that why you left?” Nicki asked, his eyes still welling with tears, some of which brimmed over and traced down his skin.

“No, Mon Cher, no! Nothing of that sort,” I said. It was impossible to explain this to him – I could give no clues about the situation which he would understand.

“Then what? What has driven you from me so suddenly? Have I offended you somehow?”

Poor Nicki, the gentle soul. He was so desperate, pleading with his eyes that I would stay with him. The heat radiating from his body was intoxicating. His proximity to me was so calming, so fantastically comfortable, and I breathed in deeply.

Wrong move.

“I have to leave.”

“Lestat!”

I barely heard his cry as I flew out the window, up the wall, and onto the roof of the building. I stopped for a moment to regain my mind and eradicate the thoughts that were screaming in my head, the word repeated like a mantra.

Blood.

 


End file.
